Where have all the good women gone?

Where have all the good women gone?

We are delighted to say that the Dating Agency Assocition featured prominently in the Daily Mail this week, through our Marketing Consultant Trelawney Kerrigan, as journalist Rebecca Evans wrote about men fighting back from recent stinging criticism that single men are boring, grumpy slobs. Where have all the good women gone asks Trelawney?

In this outright war of the sexes, Trelawney Kerrigan of the DAA, explained the reasons that some men become disillusioned with dating after a couple of knock backs. Says Trelawney: “Women will take a more positive approach while me, after a couple of knock backs, will shrivel up. They are easily disillusioned; women are better at brushing themselves off.”

She continues “It’s a confidence thing with men, you often hear men saying there are not enough genuine people out there, and that nobody’s taking it seriously.”

The men however forcefully make their points: Danny Webster, a 33 year old radio presenter from Birmingham states that he feels “Women don’t want nice men like me, they want bad boys.” He has given up on women because of painful rejections, but he does admit that he yearns to have children in the future, “It’s one part of my life I yearn for when I see my other friends with kids.”

Jamie Clows, a small business owner from Chesterfield in Derbyshire, feels “A lot happier being single. I don’t want to go on dates, it depresses me” says Jamie.  He has become one of the growing army of men making up the online community known as MGTOW – men going their own way. MGTOW, which began in the USA in the 70’s, has 10’s of thousands of followers and provides the chance for men to share relationship problems, their struggles for equal access to children and say they feel, freer, happier and wealthier for shunning relationships.

Are they missing out? Well Trelawney Kerrigan believes so and feels she could provide the advice and help to get them back on track, without them having to resort to online dating, which appears to be a common hate amongst them. Why not visit Trelawney at her own website http://www.relationshipadviser.co.uk she offers some excellent advice.

The Daily Mail article from Rebecca Evans can be viewed here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4817380/Where-good-women-gone.html 

Dating Agency Association

Catfishing on UK dating sites – the DAA view

On Tuesday 18th July Labour MP for Stockport Anne Coffey used an adjournment debate in Parliament to debate making the practice of ‘Catfishing’ – the stealing of someone’s identity and using it online illegal. Unfortunately however – currently catfishing on UK dating sites and apps remains as a significant and growing problem.

Ms Coffey has urged all online dating companies and social media sites such as Facebook, to be more proactive in monitoring their webites for this practice and providing warning messages to users that they also need to be vigilant.

Ms Coffey’s concern was prompted by the case of male model Matt Peacock who has had his identity stolen, with more than 30 women being duped by this, often into sending indecent images or videos of themselves. Photo’s of Mr Peacock’s niece and nephew were also used to give the false profile more credibility.

On the occasions when the ‘dates’ went the full course and the catfisher involved met the women face to face, the women were told that Mr Peacock was busy and that he was his cousin, who had been sent in his place. Incredibly many of the women stayed and the ‘date’ went ahead.

Mr Peacock’s wife was approached on several occasions and advised of the existence of the profile and his relationship was put under a huge strain because this had happened. He eventually tracked down the ‘Catfisher’ through a private detective.

It is the view of the Dating Agency Association that this is most definitely the dark side of online dating and we strongly support Anne Coffey’s stance that more should be done to outlaw this practice.

Eddy Ankrett

Eddy Ankrett

Our own code of conduct insists that for our member companies, all new members are interviewed and ID checked utilising photographic evidence, this is specifically to avoid the use of fake profiles and those that have been involved in online fraud. Which in turn means that you can utilise our members confident in the knowledge that catfishing is not going to be a possibility.

We caught up with Eddy Ankrett, Chairman of the Dating Agency Association for his views: Mr Ankrett stated “We deplore this practice and fully support Anne Coffey’s views that this should be outlawed through the passing of new parliamentary legislation. I do however remain confident that the comprehensive checking of potential new clients by DAA member companies, means that the general public can join any of our recommended companies with total confidence.”

Here are our Dating Safety Guidelines – to which all Dating Agency Association members must subscribe:

Dating Safely Campaign

 

Where have all the good women gone?

Online Dating Scam: French Politician Being Used To Trick Women Looking For Love

 As a dating consultant working on behalf of the UK’s Dating Agency Association, I’m regularly contacted by single men and women who feel they have been let down by questionable standards within the dating industry.    Penny, a vibrant and attractive widow in her late fifties, spoke to me recently about the confusion and hurt she suffered as a victim of an online dating scam.  
 
Online Dating ScamWhilst investigating Penny’s case, I discovered that the man she hoped could offer a new beginning was high profile French politician, Frederic Soulier.   I was also to find that Soulier himself is an unwitting victim of online scamming: images of the dignified fifty-one-year-old from Brive-La-Gaillar are being used as bait for lonely, middle aged women desperate for the love of a good man.
 
Penny had lost her husband of twenty-six years and was slowly trying to rebuild her life when she decided to try online dating.  The two years since her husband’s death had been excessively traumatic.  Not only had Penny lost her long-term companion, she’d also suffered financial ruin and been forced to sell her home.  With her beloved daughters studying overseas, Penny felt a deep sense of hopelessness – “During that period of my life, I remember walking to the edge of a cliff and praying for the courage to jump.”
 
As a widow surrounded by couples, Penny felt both excluded and judged by many of her friends.  Feeling sure she would never get used to being alone, she began to explore online ways to meet new people.
 
Match.com’s website inspired confidence: Penny felt that the online dating giant was a reputable organisation.  She also believed that everyone using online dating sites would share her own honest intentions – “When one is feeling so very genuine about the experience, you can’t understand why anyone would waste their time on a dating site unless they are feeling the same way.” 
 
Driven by a dangerous mix of excitement, naivety and desperation, Penny chose to sign up to Matchaffinity.com, an online dating site within the Match.com group.  Matchaffinity clients take an online personality test in order to be ‘matched’ with like-minded singles.  Penny was thrilled to receive contact from a man claiming to be an Irish entrepreneur living in Madrid.  Calling himself ‘Grant West’, Penny’s ‘match’ appeared smart and confident in his photographs.
 
Penny now feels incredibly foolish for immediately allowing ‘Grant West’ to move their conversation from the Matchaffinity site to Whatsapp.  Her conversations with West became unguarded and intimate very quickly – “At my age, the general feeling is ‘it’s now or never’.  Older people want to feel alive…we want to share loving, sexual relationships and we feel no pressure to ‘wait’.”
 
After several days, Penny received a lengthy message from West that tapped into her deepest desires: 
 
 “I would want us to continue with our friendship and see where it goes. The kind of woman I desire is someone who is ready to love again, someone who is caring, loving, honest, affectionate and understanding. I want someone who will be ready to discuss issues with me, always ready to tell me her pain so I can ease her off, someone to share the good times and the bad times with. Am a very romantic man who feels that kissing, cuddling and romantic words are really important in a relationship.”   
 
The excitement of receiving such a message blinded Penny to West’s occasional poor grasp of the English language : he appeared to be everything she longed for within a man.  However, when a young friend pointed out that West’s romantic outpouring appeared to be a generic declaration of intent – perhaps designed to be ‘copy and pasted’ to numerous women – Penny immediately sent him a message, requesting that he speak with her on the telephone to prove he was an Irishman genuinely seeking love.
 
At this point West became defensive.  Whilst Penny pleaded with him to prove he wasn’t a scammer, he abruptly finished the relationship and deleted his online profile.  
 
Penny traced West’s number to the Sudan and contacted the Fraud Squad in the UK.  The Fraud Squad said there was little they could do.  She then contacted Matchaffinity : Penny says her emails to the company were ignored.  
 
Left with a costly reoccurring membership, that, like others who have used Matchaffinity, she found difficult to cancel, Penny was horrified to be contacted just days later by a man claiming to be Icelandic.  Penny feels that this man’s profile had been deliberately created by the scammers to perfectly match her own.  Weeks later, one of her friends alerted her to the fact that her own online photographs had been used to create a fake profile on a dating site called Dating.com.
 
After months of trying to uncover the identity of the man in the images used by West, Penny experienced a sense of disbelief when I told her his name – “The man is Frederic Soulier – he is a well respected French politician.”  I had delivered the final confirmation that the whole affair had been a lie, yet Penny was more concerned for others than for herself – “I want single people who try online dating to realise how important it is to insist on meeting in person, within a safe environment, as soon as possible.  I gave away so much about myself to these scammers because I was lonely, vulnerable and trusting.  I feel sure that requests for money would have started pretty quickly if I hadn’t asked this man to speak with me to prove his authenticity.  And as soon as I caught him out, they tried to con me again.  Now my picture is being used to scam others on Dating.com.  I wanted to find love, but instead I lost my basic trust in human nature.”
 
The Dating Agency Association offers a free downloadable Dating Safely Handbook for single men and women.  Please visit  http://www.datingagencyassociation.org.uk/dating-safely-campaign/ 
If you have been a victim of an online dating scam, we would like to hear from you.
 
Over 50's dating

Older age dating for those 50+

In recent years one of the fastest growing sectors of the dating marketplace has been older age dating – those people aged 50-75 and a little beyond that in some instances. These ‘older agers’ or ‘silver surfers’ have realised that meeting someone and having a relationship is not anything that is exclusive to younger age groups.

Finding a dating agency for younger age groups 25-49

“How do I go about finding a dating agency that specialises in younger age groups?”, is one of the questions we get asked most frequently. And right up front we know that it isn’t easy, as predominantly traditional personal introductions have been the domain for older age groups which have made it somewhat difficult finding a dating agency for those younger age groups.

Dating Agency Association

Dating Safely – Instructions To Member Organisations

In the light of the recent Match.com rape case and other very bad publicity for the Online Dating sector, such as the crime statistics related to online dating published by the National Crime Agency in February 2016, dating safely is right at the top of the agenda with the Dating Agency Association. So much so that yesterday we updated our Code of Practice for members to make it compulsory for all websites to carry a ‘dating safely’ section and to publish guidelines for clients to follow.

Dating Agency Association

New Chief Executive Appointment

Tina Wallace

Tina Wallace

Tina Wallace – New Chief Executive Officer – Dating Agency Association

We are delighted to announce today that Tina Wallace has been appointed to the new position of Chief Executive Officer of the Dating Agency Association. Ms Wallace has more than 25 years of experience within the dating industry and also has experience as a Plc director, so will bring a considerable degree of expertise and knowledge with her into the new appointment.

Dating Agency Association

Safer dating hints and tips

One of our key roles as one of the leading voices in the UK on dating matters is to strongly promote safer dating.

The last year was not a good one for online dating, with significant levels of criticism in the press and on TV and many ordinary people have become extremely concerned about being able to date safely and as risk free as possible, we see it as part of our role to highlight the problems that are occurring and to try to ensure that everyone is aware that issues can happen, how best to avoid them if at all possible but also highlight the most effective ways to cope if they do happen to you.

Dating Agency Association

Dating agencies’ busiest day of the Year

Dating agencies in January receive more calls than in any other month and January 2nd is often their busiest day of all. It seems that Christmas and New Year, whilst often a period for celebration, can be a time for a little reflection too. Sadly Christmas can be the time when relationships come under a spotlight and sometimes fail, so January is also the top month for divorce lawyers taking on new instructions.

Dating Agency Association

Dating News

Welcome to the official blog of the Dating Agency Association – the only independent dating agency body in the UK. Originally formed in 2002 as the Introduction Services Federation, the association was formed to serve and support individual daters to ensure they are treated fairly and equitably by our member companies and that remains as our major purpose today. We also believe in and actively campaign for safer dating in the UK and would like to see the whole industry taking a tougher and more proactive stance on protecting the public.

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